Sometimes you just have one of those "worthy of a bad teen comedy" moments.
And I'm willing to embarrass myself, because this made me laugh.
I was running between two different important gatherings last night, and hadn't eaten dinner...and who knows when lunch was. I had fifteen minutes to drive from Chamblee to lower Roswell, Upper Sandy Springs area, but I wanted to stop at McDonalds. Rush rush rush.
Pull into McDs, run out of car...and I have to pee. Run over to the restroom. So, you know, like a girl...enter stall, hang tiny purse on back of door, unfasten cute jean shorts, etc etc. Notice there is no toilet paper (before peeing, like a smart girl. Okay sorta smart, I should have checked sooner.)
Standing up, I was clearly in too much of a hurry to refasten my shorts and left them flopping. Rushing out of stall to choose another, hopefully one with paper, my hanging beltloop catches the door handle, rapidly arresting my forward progress like the tailhook on a fighter jet.
This causes the door, still caught on my beltloop to hit me in the ass, knocking me teeth first into the stall frame. My purse falls off the door, sending lipstick tubes and pens and wallet rolling in all directions. Meanwhile as my face hits the frame, the keys in my hand go flying into the next stall and land behind the not so bad but still skanky toilet.
After corralling the contents of my purse, into the next stall I go, down onto the ole knees to reach behind the "commode" for my key chain. In this lovely position, I realize I never fastened my shorts, which are still hanging down.
And I still have to pee. At least there is paper.
Wash keys and key chain. Clean off contents of purse, wash hands thoroughly. All this happened in the span of about two minutes.
I rushed out of the restroom, took my two kid-size hamburgers apart, combining the two top buns with the condiments and the two patties into one. Wrapped it back up, and off I went.
Which really cracked me up because I didn't tell this funny story to anyone. Now you can all hear it together. HaHaHaHa. And we actually made it to Sandy Springs on time.
Public restrooms are the absolute worst (I am willing to bet men's restrooms are even worse than women's). I try to avoid using them, but would have a complete emotional breakdown if I actually ended up touching the floor in one. Blech!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Drew. I'm afraid I would've had to leave the purse and all its contents and make Jimmy come in to get the keys. :-)
ReplyDeleteLol. This kind of crap happens to me almost daily. Glad to see there are others like me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for popping by!:) & Thanks for the kind words!:) ..I avoid public washrooms!
ReplyDeleteI guess I'll throw out there some more personal stuff...when I was a little girl, with aforementioned Dad a lot of the time (and my sisters)and Dad was capital "P" paranoid about my sisters and I being molested in a public restroom that he naturally could not accompany us into. So we were not allowed to use them. Period. My dad had a large VW Camper bus with the tire on the front like a nose. I spent YEARS peeing in a cup in that van.
ReplyDeleteat about age 25 I had to see a urologist repeatedly for severe recurrent kidney infections, due to my refusal to use public restrooms, and holding "P" for hours and hours at a time. Like maybe a ten hour shift at a job. That urologist told me I was going to destroy my kidneys if I didn't change my ways.
After rounds of catheterization, I saw the light. Public restrooms are my friend. I love them. Hhahahahahah, enough said. ;-)