Listen to every song...One at a time

I'm making a pot of Stash Hazelnut Chocolate Decaf tea. I'm reading blogs that I follow. I hope once my classes start back I Will still be able to keep up with the blogs I like. I think I will make a chart of a few for each day, and spend time each day reading the last weeks posts for just those few. Most don't post every day, so I figure I can follow four a day, so maybe 25 should be my maximum. We shall see how it goes. The coffee maker is drippy bubbling. I use a dedicated coffee maker to make tea. Make actual coffee just once, and I will taste it forever.

So I was reading the blog In Search of Whales, which is zombiehaven,blogspot.com. (no zombies, though. It is inspirational) I enjoyed the post titled Integrigratuitous. Which is ear-catching isn't it? Oh, I wish you could smell this tea. Zombie's post got me thinking a lot, because I have been married twice. I don't think I broke my oaths to either husband. Far from perfect was I. In some ways, though, I am perfectly me, which I kind of mean like...you're actually getting me as advertised. I guess I do feel like they both broke their oaths to me, but let me say I am so far down the road of forgiveness that I am only speaking philosophically here. And to add honestly, I don't necessarily even think oath breaking is or should be enough to end a marriage. In the midst of all the good, great, memorable things in my relationships- all toss-saladed up with the dismal and horrible and heartbreaking, I think what threw the plates to the floor and ended the party was lies. Both times. I can be tempestuous, sometimes demanding, and sometimes mercurially moody. My kids say when I lie (like to their schools if I want to take them to lunch or something) that I tell the most ridiculously convoluted lies (I think this means I am not a very good liar. Good liars keep it simple. I am, however, a good actress.)

I don't know what it was that made them lie to me, repeatedly.I don't know why they couldn't just stop doing what they were lying about or get some freaking therapy and put it to use. It is an odd experience to have someone place these things before you on their list. These things must have happened for a reason, though. I would not be where I am now, with Reid on this killer Drumline and me starting school again, in my own little weirdly laid out rental house, much like an upside-down cake. Without leaving Jeff, I wouldn't have had Reid. Life without both Guy and Reid...wow. That's just not right.And what about Reid's dad's (Jason) influence on Guy's life? And the addition of Dylan and Will, Guy's step-brothers to his and Reid's lives? These are good things. Tonight, one of Reid's best friends started his own blog (good writing, kiddo! yay!) in which he talks so kindly and with praise for the influence of Reid and myself now in his life. Surely none of this follows the rules of marriage as we have always deemed proper and best. I'm just exploring thoughts here, not saying I don't believe in monogamy and marriage.

Someone commented on Zombie's blog that they will never break their oath to his wife of 7 years. I so support that way of thinking; it is admirable. But I have to wonder...things people think at 7 years of marriage- things that happen that you would never expect or anticipate. In the end it may not be "you" at all, and the marriage might still end.


Life is like a good album. You listen to every song...one at a time.

This song was playing on Looking for Whales blog when I was there and I thought, oh, I forgot that song, I like that. So I youtubed it to see if anyone had done a good video. Lord knows Google (don't they own youtube now) has ruined Youtube for the video maker. I thought this one fit well with this blog.


And I close with a picture taken at Ground Zero of my son Guy, about age 16 then.

Moment of silence...and hugs to all.

Feeling Blessed and Having Fun

Do you ever feel like you have mental housecleaning to do? Little ticky things that need to be done on the brain to mouth, or maybe brain to hand level. Like typing stuff. Mental sticky notes of ideas that need fleshing out, thank yous to voice, possible blog posts that don't seem quite enough for a whole topic.

Here's one. If I type it and share it then I don't have to keep thinking if it will develop into a line of thought..."You can't get a pearl from a clam." This is supposed to be a variation of you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear (though believe me, if anyone could, I could- I'm a fabric genius.) But I was thinking about what we most often call pearls in the mental way...pearls of wisdom. Also, what we think of as a clam. Someone who won't talk or communicate. So, I give that phrase a different meaning...you can't get pearls of wisdom from someone who won't communicate. Which couldn't be any truer, eh? Whew! now I don't have to carry that around in there anymore.

Second, I wanted to say Hi! to all my followers on BlogFrog and Networked Blogs, and the ones who've chosen to follow privately. I can't see you, but I'm happy you're there. So, Hi!

Next, OMG, many of you do not know how crazy I am for Hello Kitty. Just the Kitty, not the whole shebang. I adore the fact that she has no mouth. The way they can convey her expression solely through body language, head tilt, and accessorization, is just a win. There, now you know. I have nothing to hide.

I'm pretty sure her 50th birthday is this year, so before you consign her to the toy bin for teens, remember- my generation had her first.


Look, it's me and Hello Kitty. I say Yes!

Yeah, so I stole the artwork off the Hello Kitty Online site. Which is super cute. And I had never seen before. Wow.

Anyway, moving along...

I'm so impressed with the Flash of Crimson Marching Band kids. It has been ungodly hot with a heat index of 105 some days. They had pre-camp last week and Full Band Camp this week. They are out there learning their show in the blazing sun. I'm either in the shade with the first aid bag and cool cloths, or prepping food in the kitchen, but I haven't heard one kid complain about the heat or how hard they are working. They've even thanked us moms for what we are doing. These are some awesome kids.

I'm glad people come to visit me at my house. That's the only time I sweep. I keep my place neat and my kitchen clean, and dishes out of all the rooms, laundry folded and put up, etc. But I almost never sweep. I have some kind of broom phobia or something. Maybe all those silly mop commercials. So, my wood floors are likely a resource for stray leaf bits, dropped cheerios, and the odd pretzel M&M. Oh! maybe because I used to have a dog. She never left a food bit, no matter how small. Oh this is so sad, and devolving. Hahaha

Skye, Frank, Reid, Ike, Me, Guy, at Mad Italian from April 2010. Di must have been taking the picture.

Will, Reid, Dylan, Guy, Cheyenne

Me and Frank, bowling at Stars and strikes.

Dylan and Will are Guy's step-brothers on his Dad's side. Their mom, Michelle is really awesome. She is having some major foot complications after a melanoma surgery, so I'm praying for her to get better soon. I like her a whole lot. She makes my ex a better person. Smile.

Okay, last item, and such a good one, too.

Andrew "Drew" Green, a local artist, comic author, and really talented guy, who has a cool blog where he showcases his characters at drew-green.blogspot.com, and will be hugely successful one day, so catch on now, made me a caricature of Sylace (who says yes). It is so darn cute. I have been told I'm a cartoon, so now officially so! Thanks so much, Drew.

I am so blessed to have so many wonderful people and experiences in my life. Love you all!