After the Next

Another Sunday comes,
promising shiny strings of beads from Mardi Gras,
or feasts of epic proportion,
it all looks so enticing.
Sundays should.

The menu, written in hieroglyphics,
these are pictures I know,
but I cannot place the words into the puzzle,
my skill at deciphering has deserted me,
there must be something to be done, but...
I do not speak the language.

Sunday should be something else entirely.
Such a big day, such a special name,
I would toil all year for a day,
named for a celestial body that gives us all life.
Were the sun worshipers so misguided?

I will leave this life with exactly what I brought in.
Some Sundays remind me that I am no more and no less than the elements,
but, I don't think these thoughts in a bad way.
Only in the way that lets me see the truth of my being,
one day after one day,
after the next.

No Burden at All

Into this sea I cast a note
much as a bell rings with no sentience of the listener.
I can see a crowd of fishes and loaves
but I cannot hear the whispers of heaven.
I am escaping pieces of vestigial skin I do not use
Layers dwindle to flakes and off into the tide, and pieces
become specks.
God hears me all the time
In response I try to watch what I say,
mostly,
as best I can.
I could say I am only human...
as if that is any limitation of any sort,
when indeed it is the greatest power
ever given
ever granted to any creature
to have a mind infinite enough to perceive
that God exists.

He has his eye upon the smallest sparrow,
and indeed He must, for the sparrow knows Him not, after all.
But I do...I know the sparrow, and the shark
the rose and the latin names of the trees surrounding the world
with oxygen. I know the chemicals, too, and I 
know them in the body and how they balance delicately 
more subtle and influential than you would care to realize.

Knowing becomes the essence of humanity
because we know that we know,
sapient,
and much like the bell that cannot be unrung,
self awareness becomes the purest humanity of all.
For that reason, I do as I do in this life...
and thanking God is no burden. No burden at all.  
               

Steampunk Saloon Girl Costume

I am "off" for Christmas Break, which is kind of a laugh because of the volume of stuff I have to do (as we all do at Christmas), but I want to catch up on a few blog things.

The post with details on my Green Jeannie costume from last year at DragonCon is so popular, that I promised way back to give details of my Patriotic Steampunk Saloon Girl and how I constructed it.

First pictures so you know what I'm talking about.

the jacket I purchased. It was from the American Icon collection which came from the American Idol TV show. The hooks that are the closure are a part of the jacket, but I wanted them to show, so I pinned the lapels back with antique pins. It also allowed more of the corset to show. I have a "real" (expensive!) corset that MJL bought me at the Renaissance Fest, but I also have a lot of corsets from Frederick's of Hollywood. They are definitely more costume and not authentic, but one can also afford to have a bunch of them, as they run from $ 40 to 60, depending on the fabric and pattern.

Doing research, I found that fishnets didn't exist at the time of the Old West frontier, they actually wore cotton or wool stockings. Well...I wasn't wearing cotton or wool to DragonCon. I chose these nude hose from Target. They had a woven pattern in the nude color and then the black dots. My boots are actually a very dark brown.

The skirt I made. It starts with a pattern, which I shortened. This is the pattern. Even if they don't make this one any more, you can see what sort of thing to look for. It is a full circle skirt with a yoke (like the two on the bottom). The yoke is very important. A full circle without a yoke will make you look like you are in a poodle skirt. If you shorten it, you will look like a 60s majorette. Plus the yoke allows you to attach things and stays sleek.

Here are the fabrics used. They were all from JoAnn fabrics, so you don't really have to always spend a lot of money or go to a special fabric store to make costumes.

The patriotic fabric was a big inspiration.
When I saw that fabric, I knew I had to do something with it.
The plaid is red, blue, green and a homespun looking brown.

This is a cotton quilting print.
The red was just right, and the background was cream. I didn't want any white, because white was
very expensive to obtain back then.
Less expensive fabrics had that homespun look of
natural color cotton.

This one was a bridal fabric.
It had the scalloped edge that you see on the skirt
already as part of the fabric. I got it on clearance for 8$ a year and I only bought 2/3 of a yard, so very
cheap to add a really nice element.

 I did use a modern zipper.
One, for convenience and time savings.
Two, because I've made this pattern before as a real skirt and I like the zipper in the back. It adds stability to the yoke. I went through my collection of buttons and pulled out all the metal ones to add as accents.

 I purchased keys and chains and these accents
at Micheal's in the scrapbooking section.
In the full picture, the antique gold watch is
real and it belonged to my great great grandmother.

 The tiny hat started as a $1.99 teddy bear hat from
JoAnn fabrics. They come black made by Darice.
I spray painted it bronze gilt.
I found a belt at a thrift store for one dollar.

It was a size 2x, so it had a lot of  these square metal
pieces. After putting two long pieces with two squares each on each side of the skirt, I had one left over. I had to sew it to the top of the hat, because even metal glue wouldn't hold it to the felt.

 I did hand gathering at two points in the front of the skirt, and more to the sides.

I did it by hand with a running stitch. It looked like a girl might have done back then.

I really wanted the natural unevenness of hand work.

The ribbon tail was just something extra. Most of the time it didn't show, but I always keep adding little things on a costume till
I just feel that it is finished.

 Feathers and embellishments all from Micheal's

You can see how it is constructed.

 This natural cotton is two layers. Stiffened with interfacing. I glued on on, attached the headband with hot glue. Reinforced that with ribbon. Covered that with the second piece of natural cotton. I could have spray painted it, but with all my hair...I didn't bother.

Originally, I thought I would do something in
Red and blue that perfectly matched the costume.

In working with the patriotic fabric, it has a rosy pink element in the background of some scenes and on the cheeks.

I just decided I wanted to pick up that element in the hat and also the neckpiece, which...if you look back,
is constructed of the buckle from the dollar belt!
Pink velvet ribbon is the accent on the choker, and it ties in the back with brown grosgrain ribbon.

I have to say, I loved this costume. I felt fabulous, and I received so many compliments from DragonCon attendees. It was comfortable. My favorite comments were from fellow seamstresses. They liked the
idea, the design and the execution. That's the best feedback!!

The skirt is layered panels that are really all curtain valance treatments in their construction. I used to make a lot of curtains, so I used those techniques. The front panel is a pleated center jabot, and the back lace panels
are trapezoid shaped side jabot panels. It is easy to google simple directions for these once you see what I did. The side jabot face each other instead of facing out as the would on a window.

The rear swag is just done like a long scarf valance would be over a curtain rod. I just did the side gathering with ribbon instead of the way it would hang over a rod.

Hope this inspires you if you are looking to do a steampunk short skirt!

Track

Nothing stands alone. 
It doesn't does it? 
Locomotives run on steel rails of strength disproportionate to imagination.
What if you could be the locomotive.
What if you could be the engine of all that happens,
your essence and force steaming off the top,
magnificent weight of words and deeds trailing behind farther than sight.
Wouldn't that be powerful beyond description...
looking down at the manacles on your wrists,
imagine naked pain and youth as they melt away into leaden trails
to form your track.

And this is when you find the fuel to overcome the friction and the gravity
of your situation.
This is when you move inch by inch 
until you are flying and pulling the world along with ease.
You do not stand alone, for
you stand for too much.
Accompanied, though...and beloved.

River Bend

She sold herself down the river
in such minute quantities
the fish never even got sleek or fat,
but simply swam away
in ignorance of what they had eaten.

The water too clear to reflect
anything but what she wanted to see;
it would remain a vision to haunt her,
of who was blind,
and who was left to see...
when she was there no longer.   

"It's Alive!" New days with GANS

Yesterday was my first day as a State Board Member of the Georgia Association of Nursing Students (GANS). It was one long day, let me tell you, in what has become a progression of extremely long days with little break. "Welcome to Nursing!" needs to be tattooed on my arm or something.

I used to say, Welcome to nursing school!" Now I realize that this is the pace of nursing in general, so I'd better just get used to it. Now one free hour can seem like an entire weekend's rest, if applied properly.

MJL and I went to see Frankenweenie late last night. I love, love Tim Burton movies. I knew it was a short movie, and I just needed to rest my brain. It wasn't as good as other Tim Burton faves of mine, but, the dog was so adorable, and the movie had real charm and quite a few inside jokes (example- the town Mayor is Mr. Burgermeister.) 

Our school is "Kaplanized, " meaning we follow a Kaplan structured curriculum (in general), and take Kaplan Integrated tests throughout our courses. Kaplan administers the NCLEX, so this is supposed to prepare us for familiarity with Kaplan style questions. It's nothing like the review sessions that Hurst and ATI put on...we get regular lectures, powerpoints, etc all taught by our instructors. It's just every so often we take one of these standardized tests which are "normalized" to the whole country. It allows our professors to see how we stack up against other schools and students at our level, and also to predict how well we are learning the material for the NCLEX. We had a big Kaplan in health assessment this morning. 

It's funny because we all come out moaning and thinking we did terribly, which is exactly what I hear about the NCLEX. 

I think this experience with State GANS board will be an education that is trial by fire, much like these Kaplan tests. Are you ready to lead as an RN? Can you take the lead in the face of little information and an incredibly short transition from past Director to...Hey! You are the Director now!  ( I got a 1.5 hour transition roughly, though I know the previous director is available to me for help...but she is a busy nursing student who has served her time.)

I had a moment of panic in the middle of Frankenweenie. I had let my mind rest in the movie, following the little doggie with the stitches and the bolts in his neck. Suddenly, I remembered what I had just gotten myself into...on top of school and everything else I do...thank goodness no one was there to record my heart rate and respiration!

In those situations, I have to stop and ask myself some questions, no matter how much I am doubting myself:

1. Is anyone else here going to do this job if I do not?  (maybe? No?)

2. Is there a reason I was given this job and not someone else? (usually yes)

3. Do I believe that anyone I can readily think of can do this better than I can-

    right now, right here?     (usually not. they have their own things to do)

4. Are people looking to me to take charge and handle this? (always yes)

5. Can I think quickly and creatively in this situation? (usually yes)

6. Do I trust myself, my incredible support system (you are all the best!!) and God? (emphatically yes)

Then everything else will work itself out. Maybe a better mantra is:

If I work my hardest; it will work out.

My hardest and best effort may be different on different days. School comes first- for the benefit of the patients. But I may sacrifice a few grades in this effort for GANS. Maybe that is a good thing. Maybe I focus too much on grades. Potential future employers will not ask me much about my grades. They will ask me what things I have done to develop myself into a leader? what makes me different than other candidates? And how can I show that I am patient centered, not self-centered. 

All of us on this new GANS Board are giving up so many other things we could be doing with our time..because we want to be better leaders. Who is it that we need to lead as RNs? Other nurses and patient care personnel. And for whose benefit? The patients.

I got into nursing to care for the patients. Being an effective leader will benefit the patient every time.

One last anecdote...I remember when Jason and I brought Reid home from the hospital; he was three days old and in his little car seat carrier. We set him on the coffee table and sat on the couch looking at him.

I already had a two year old son, so I had been through this before. Jason turned and looked at me questioningly. I looked back at him and said, " Don't look at me! I don't know what to do with him, either!"

We both died laughing. It became an oft repeated phrase of ours in relation to Reid, who has always been smarter than we knew how to handle. It just serves to remind me, that even though you may have successfully done something before, or many times, each new time is its own challenge.

But I look at Reid now, almost done with high school and driving himself to Engineering orientation session at Ga Tech, and I realize I still don't know just what to do with him....hhahhahah.

I don't have to. All I had to do was my job to the best of my ability with both my sons. And the rest takes care of itself.

Just in case any of my fellow board members chance to read this post, I love you guys already.We may be a little stitched together right now like Frankenweenie, but the lightning has struck.

T. Sylace

Filigree

I couldn't let the month of September pass by without posting at least once. I have never missed a month yet.
Starting back to school has been a huge effort. It's getting to be too funny how many people tell me they had no idea what it took to become an RN.

I'm having a bit of trouble typing because I sewed through my finger earlier this evening. hahhaha...it happens. Watched Captain America last night on DVD. Yawn. Visually stunning, though.

I have thought all month about things I wanted to write about, but honestly haven't had one spare moment.
Between class, clinicals, reading, studying and assignments, I believe I am not exaggerating to say I am putting in 14 hour days.

I always post about Dragon Con, which was over Labor Day weekend. I did not break anything this year thank goodness. Security was tighter there this year, which means there were far fewer real freak shows. What a shame. Freak shows are what make Dragon Con a blast. Ok, I'm exaggerating.

I just wanted to say I am not gone. It's important for me to keep up with this.

It's nine pm. I've been studying all day. I feel like I should keep at it till I get my clinical journal done, and I need to look at dosage calculations for insulin. I'm trying to keep balanced. I still do creative things...bake things. On that note I should attempt a poem. It may be awful. I'm just going to let the chips fall and see.
Who can it hurt? Indeed.



Filigree

"Does this hurt?" she asked and asked sincerely but the reply was muffled.
Muffled by the sleeve of a dusty olive sweater,
muted by the passage of time in diffuse pain undocumented,
an erosion of what were nerves at the ends of appendages that used to connect
to something that recorded this and cried out, but no more.
She passed him a paper cut out puppet, a flat lacy man on a stick
reminiscent of black Thai shadow shows and all the humanity they portray
with only a simple filigree human on a stick.
"Show me where it hurts...show me with the figure." She wanted to help, would have helped
but a truckload of eiderdown had grown in his throat,
and binders the weight of a hundred books kept the sounds under the quilt.
He ranged his gaze through a routine of pleading to intense disinterest,
It was all he could do, after all.
Sometimes all she could do was hold him in her arms.
"I know, baby."
I know.


-Tara Sylace

Aries Full Moon September