Because all experiences are valuable.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


If I wrote this for you,
you would want it,
you would want me,
you would want more,

you might drive yourself insane,
looking for the spot inside me
where this comes from,
to be sure it was yours,

truth is, you go on faith,

you believe what you need to believe,
create the truth
it is yours...

Friday, March 25, 2011

Another McDonald's Adventure

I'm not sure what number this would be, now, in my series of adventures at Mcdonald's...

Today I had a low blood sugar episode...my own fault, as usual. I was in the library trying to print some
Anatomy slides to study over the weekend, but another girl had decided (apparently) to print the entire text of
War and Peace, so I just kept waiting...and waiting...

I pushed going to lunch way too far out, so I ran over to McDs...which is where I go when I feel so nauseated from blood sugar drop that I really don't want to eat at all then.

But by the time I was in the drive-thru (had to get to class at East Campus), I was really out of it. I was just  blindly following the car ahead of me without knowing what I was doing. So, instead of ordering, I just followed the car ahead of me. When I got to the window to pay, I was totally clueless as to what was going on. Then I realized I hadn't ordered. I tried to tell the girls (3!) at the window that I hadn't ordered, because I am hypoglycemic and my sugar was low. Two girls didn't understand at all and started saying, oh..your blood pressure is high...then other girl said No, her blood sugar is low...they had to have an argument in the window about whose Auntie had high blood pressure, and what happened when she passed out at the family reunion.

The other girl tried in vain to get them to realize my sugar was low. She finally took over and got my order, but of course, at the next window, they tried to give me the next guy's food. Makes sense they were confused; I was the dingbat who didn't order in...lol...order! But the whole thing started over when I told the girl I had low blood sugar and apologized. She also decided I had high blood pressure and told me I was way too thin to have high blood pressure (which actually means nothing) and maybe I just needed to eat something. Oh, the irony!

This was all terribly funny, but my sugar was still dropping. The original girl who was at the other window came over with my food and even put the straw in the coke for me. She must know someone who is hypoglycemic. Then...like, all six girls were crowded in the one window telling me to eat and not drive that way. They were all terribly nice, but still confused. As I left, I could hear the conversation about the Auntie still going on.  I will have to go back on Monday and tell the manager how sweet they were, especially Danielle (the non-confused one).

I can't do justice to this story, because I would have to employ some racial stereotypes. But it's part of why I love to hit McDonald's occasionally...it is always an experience!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


is a noun that implies a verb
that alludes to a sin
you only remember because you forgot to forget it
maybe two sins or three
or a lifetime of them
but no matter
who is judging this contest, and
is he friend or foe?
Were I to adjudicate-
a verb that implies a noun
that alludes to an iconographic presentation like
I would offer judicial opinion
that you have paid in full,
and bad memories of those who sinned against you are
snapped up whole and gone
in the instant you pray,
like a sleeve of crackers spilled on the beach
within the sight of the birds, and they descend, those seagulls
making the sounds you love…
the tide comes in and the tide goes out and
not once shall you ever feel alone again.

for MJL ,
whose character amazes me every day,
and who never gives in under pressure.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Lucky Number 100!

Happy St. Patrick's Day to you all!
Here's a little bit of Ireland for you today...I took the above picture on St. Stephen's Green in Dublin.

This is post number 100 for me. An auspicious occasion, to be sure. Post number 99 was significant, too, as it marked the first time I used the F* word in a post. Well, the occasion called for it.

I am burning the candle at four ends recently- apparently my candle is cross shaped. But that is ok...even through the exhaustion, the anemia, the headaches and the midnighters...I am blessed to be doing what I am doing. I am blessed that the brilliant Judy Hyde said to me almost one year ago, "Tara, why don't you go to nursing school?" Genius or prophet, that Judy...take your pick. Currently, Microbiology stands as the most intense class I have ever taken. I will keep you posted though. I expect that to change. (Pathophysiology this summer...)

here is some more Ireland for you...

a good day to intersperse these lovely pictures, eh?
So, I decided to sponsor Reid's drumline's new snare drums by buying space on the back of the show shirts and putting my blog name. I guess I have opened myself up to judgment, but this blog has always been about my journey to be the most authentic version of myself I can be. So take me as I am, or don't. That sounds somewhat negative, and it is not meant that way. I know how to lighten the mood! More Ireland!!

Technically, this is only Dublin. Next time I go, I will bring you a new version. Let's all go, shall we??

Lately, I have been doing posts that reflect my relationships with some very beloved people. Di and Ike should be due for a revisit to their awesomeness again soon...Kristin continues to impress me with her incredible drive and happy nature...my dearest, dearest friend Sherry is like a beacon of everything that is truly good in this world...Eva, you are a blessing and part of my heart for all eternity...Ali, you are as uniquely beautiful as one person can be...

Thank you Dr. Bauck, for killing me with work in areas I will use forever and for your hilarious personal style; Dr. Roberson, thank you for challenging me to know more and think broader, better, and be my absolute best self; Dr. Gill, thank you for being a shining example of practicing what you teach; and Dr. Mace, thank you for being an entertainer as well as an instructor. Dr. Greene, thank you for always being so happy to see me, and continuing to give me a hard time because you like me so much (don't deny it!).

For some annoying reason I can't get the text to wrap the pictures today. Oh well. Who cares.

Thank you to every person who has ever stopped me and said, "Hey, I read your blog on facebook..."
It always surprises me to see who actually reads this thing. Thank you to Tracy...I hope you are feeling better lately.

I am different than when I started this. No, not 15 minutes ago! Hahaahaha. I write about public restroom experiences, and bizarre things I think. I haven't had enough strange experiences lately...I will endeavour to seek some out soon. I'm having lunch or dinner with Andrew Green next week...maybe he can provide some strangeness. Hear that, Andrew? Do you want to check out any local public restrooms with me? ( I can hear Drew saying Ewwwww from 30 miles away). 

Most of all on this St. Patrick's Day, I want to send my love to my own piece of Ireland, MJL. Who henceforth will be referred to in this blog as...MJL. Hahahaha, more Tara Sylace humor...both of which names he tells me I mispronounce. (Seriously? LOL).

you make being you an art, the kind
that I want to stop and stare at to see what
I see this time, that I did not see the last, and cannot
wait for the next, for this is the way of an angel
caught in faint light, blink and look harder, did I
really just see what I thought was there,
no one would believe this if I even
tried to tell them, so I can only scribble down
words to describe what must be felt, and
nothing more, nothing at all is even required of
either of us than to sit still, changing laughter alternately
with a kiss, and let God work.

TSD for MJL  St. Patrick’s Day 2011

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

For Mary V. McGraw Jarvis

Life can be a very mysterious whirlwind. I suppose that is mostly what I talk about here...life.

Mary's son, Joseph (Mac) Archibald asked me at lunch what my blog was about. Oh, Joseph, am I really supposed to have all the answers? Just kidding. If one doesn't know, maybe one should stop writing.

If I had an answer that was the slightest bit real, I would say, it is about what goes on inside my brain. Of course we are all appropriately scared when we realize the infinitesimally small percentage that we are aware of what goes on in others' brains. That was a dreadful sentence, but you get the idea.

I wonder what is going on in Mary's brain every day. Mary is so strong and so worthy of admiration for her fortitude that weak words of mine can't do her justice. I feel like I'm just pumping out platitudes here, but I insist on forging ahead. Maybe the fact is that some things are so inherently true that they do not need the salad dressing of glossy explanation that I usually ladle on...because...
could it be?...because I like hear myself? I am entirely unsure.

More truth is: I don't have any choice. I will hear myself all of my life, both inside and outside my own head. There are no other options. Make peace then with that.

Mary, Mary, dearest Mary. I am sure you are also fucking tired of being strong. But
we all know your soulmate Neal will always be with you. And that is that.

The memorial was lovely. But it didn't do you justice, personally. And that is that, as well. No greater testament to your character could I ever offer than the aplomb and patience and love with which you approach everything in life.

I hope you feel better from the flu very soon. I want to say to you that I wish I had understood in high school, far better than I did, just what a shining light you are. All of the faults on that front (whatever I did not perceive) are entirely mine.

You are greatly loved.

Monday, March 7, 2011

An Honorary Post


I have raved about the poetry of Wrinkledman before, but it has been a while.

She went around the world backwards,
"so that's where I was"
she was heard to say as the wind whipped around her hair, carrying the future rearward,
the afterwards were sucked out like credits,
like dusk,
like the signature on the painting,
nothing like the painting.
"did you see that day? I was in that sunset."

I just couldn't not share this one.
He knows a few of his poems aren't on my "wavelength" as he put it, but
I think his work is just brilliant.