So, let's chat.
I of all people can tell you that life moves insanely fast. Guy tells me that studies have shown that the perception of time passing speeds up as you get older. I have touched on the perception/ reality of time in this blog before. I used to love to read layman's books on quantum physics in my spare time, but honestly I haven't touched a one in the past year I have been in school. My cup has runneth over with science this annum.
Over a year ago, someone lent me a little book sheathed in a yellow and white paper cover. I hope she knows that I read it every day, and that I will return it to her someday soon, when I no longer need it, and that it is being used. It is called, One Day at a Time in Al-Anon. It is a compilation of daily thoughts and readings to help support the recovering journey of those who have suffered, as the result of a relationship of any kind with an alcoholic. These readings are not about the alcoholic, nor any sort of blame. They are reminders for the person reading to be active in the business of healing their own life.
I'm a little behind, but tonight I read this lesson...for June 30th in the book. If there were an author I would credit him or her, but I believe it is okay to spread this message.
"The time I spend in reviewing the past, mourning over past mistakes and failures, is time lost. This is why the twenty-four hour concept, in both Al-Anon and in AA, is so strongly emphasized.
Our yesterdays have no importance except as experience in making today more fruitful. Regrets and self-condemnation, for what we did or left undone, only destroy the self-esteem we would derive from a balanced view of ourselves."
That statement is so beautifully true.
Time is a human construct. It means nothing to the plants, or the animals. Even the seasons matter little at the equator. Time is nothing in quantum electrodynamics. It does not exist at all. All things happen, or do not happen. If you like multiple universe theory, then...all things happen, infinitely.
As a breathing human being, I must operate at least marginally within the framework perception of time. It is a comfortable robe, a bit of safety saran wrap that keeps my mind from flying apart to the edges of the universe.
But that does not at all mean that I cannot see that the only moment that exists is this one.
The past Does Not Exist Now.
The future Does Not Exist Now.
In this moment...the one that exists...I know that I am so lucky, more blessed then kings and sultans and princes of industry.
Time does seem to be speeding up to me. Half my life is likely over.
No matter what mistakes I make, ever, I can never fail if my love
shines out...every moment. The only one there is.
I love you, Guy.
I love you, Reid.
I will never top the achievement of having a hand in both your creations.
I love you, all my dearest, dear friends.
I love you, Yena. I am proud of you every single day.
I love you, MJL. You are perfect just as you are.
This is a wonderful moment to be alive.