Because all experiences are valuable.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Only Thing

I know I have been posting less lately. Some of that is school and studying for sure. Some of it is the recent crafty mode I have been in. I just figure it's rather boring. I'm not making anything particularly new and exciting. I read a blog called Diary of a Craft Room Transformation, and she makes the most beautiful things, and also posts instructional videos of just incredible things. So I don't think mine are really worth reading about, other than for those who are interested in my life in general. I made Guy and Reid new throw blankets. They have had the same polarfleece fuzzy ones for a long time. They get kinda thin and not cozy anymore, and I notice over a long time they pick up odors as well.

Guy's favorite shirt the Uncle from Monopoly on it, so when I saw the Monopoly fabric I just wanted to make him one of those tied edge throws. I used black for the back. They are double warm because of two layers.

I took this in the parking lot when he took me to get my car, so you can't see it really well, but the fleece is the same green as the Monopoly board.

Reid's is musical notes. I think you can figure that out, ha ha ha.
With a red backing, because his school colors are red and black.
Though I wasn't as happy with the quality of the red fleece from Hobby Lobby. It had an odd "hand" to it. That means how it feels and drapes to your hand. But the blanket came out cute.

I am really struggling in my personal life right now. I wish I could share things here, because that would be a good outlet. But I can't.

I'm so disappointed in myself that I haven't finished my Grandmother's estate paperwork and closed it out. Technically it isn't until February that a year has passed since I was appointed executrix, which is a common benchmark for finishing up. I just know I could be finished by now, and I haven't done it. IDK, maybe I will discover I can't finish until next year's taxes are done. Which I can file the estate taxes after the first of the year. Maybe I would be screwing up if I didn't wait, so this is a blessing. Things seem to work that way for me.

I remember something I learned in child development about how a child masters new motor skills, and the corresponding reaction in his verbal skills. There is a scientific and psychological time in developing any new skill, when other skills already mastered actually regress, as the mind and body focus on mastering the new one. This year Reid had mastered a lot of complicated and technical rolls and triplets on his tenor drums, but he has struggled with marching well while carrying the drums. They are heavy and ungainly, and throw one's balance off tremendously, as well as blocking the thighs motion to some extent. As he made some leaps in marching ability, he was disgusted with finding his triplets and speed taking a nosedive. I tried to explain to him the concept above, but he is pretty dismissive of my PollyAnna attitude that there is a reasonable explanation for most things, and that Positive Mental Attitude will usually see you through the rough time when you not only haven't gotten the new skill, but seem to be losing your others. My optimism is probably annoying, so I back off. He is a teenager after all. ;-)

But my optimism and pushing through and PMA doesn't seem to be helping me in other areas, so maybe he is right. I just don't know what else to do. I really am doing incredibly well in school. I scored a 112 on that big Chemistry test. (I actually think the idea of "extra credit" is a good one, because sometimes you know important stuff that just isn't on the test proper. It gives you a chance to show more of what you know). After a 101 on my first statistics test and a 100 on my first Anatomy test, and a 100 on my Anatomy Lab test, I think I can say I'm doing well. My relationship with the boys is going great. It is so wonderful to have Guy here now, and he is making incredible grades at Gainesville State University. I think Reid's grades are fine for the level of instruction he is receiving and the amount of Drumline he has. He just did really well on a history test. A high SAT or ACT score is more important, I think. Reid made a 27 one month into Freshman year without knowing any of the science on the ACT yet. We all know that after you actually get into college, no one cares what your high school grades were. My high school Chemistry teacher was by far the worst teacher I ever had, convincing me that I could not do Chemistry. Well now we can see that is not the case at all. I love Chemistry....even when I get confused, because it challenges me. But I'm losing touch with friends and dear ones to me. I don't know what to do about my personal life. It makes me cry that I can't figure it out. I'm crying right now. I miss my friends in Arkansas that knew and valued me. I love my new friends here, and my old friends here that are new again with moving back, but I don't get to see them much.

There's a lot going on all the time that I just can't figure out. I pray, and I meditate, and I try and try again. Reid said PMA isn't the answer to all things. It's just the only thing that I have.


  1. PMA is not perfect and it can let you down, but it's much better than NMA.

  2. I love and miss you Tara. I think of you everyday.